GOOD IN THE 'WOOD
VIRTUAL strolls thru REAL Hollywood

Good in the ‘Wood - Full hoof
“Never Break Stride”
A dance between the raindrops

 

EXT. GARDEN - MORNING

A RED DOOR is surrounded by jasmine and bougainvillea. The NEON TITLE CARD reads HOLLYWOOD, CA.

The door opens - the game is on.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD - CONTINUOUS

BANJO steps on to the sidewalk and immediately SMACK a guy on a Bird scooter sucking a vape pen bangs into his shoulder.

The Hollywood Neon Title Card shorts out.

Banjo’s unharmed but the guy bounces off a shrub on to the ground. He quickly raises his arm to indicate to his live YouTube audience that he's okay.

  • SCOOTER GUY
  • (to camera) Be careful out there.
  • BANJO
  • Get your head out of your screen.

They each take off in different directions.

BANJO: Observationalist - easy going - believer in happy accidents. Explorer - totally knows the city - loves to get lost in it. Helpful - gets it - one good deed at a time.

EXT. AIR BNB PARTY HOUSE - STRIDES LATER

A wasted homeless guy about the same age as the scooter guy is sitting on the small patch of grass surrounded by script pages and more than a few smashed liquor bottles.

  • HOMELESS GUY
  • (to Banjo) I just f*cked your mother.

Banjo pulls out his phone and quickly checks the local @HollywoodUnlocked and @NextDoor headlines. Good pal and musician SANJAY @SanjayParekh is unloading alkaline water from his sweet ‘65 Mustang. Their namaste mornings are being seriously challenged as the homeless guy starts calling them racists.

Banjo raises his eyebrows, Sanjay shrugs.

  • BANJO
  • Stick on the ice, baby!

He dials up Country DJ @ElizabethCookForSheriff on SiriusXM and takes off down the street, passing the new multi-unit, multi-use properties sandwiched between the few remaining apartments screaming for an overhaul. Sensitive to the moment, he wishes there were better solutions to help the homeless in his neighborhood.

  • ELIZABETH COOK
  • (in Earbuds) Hey y’all... whaddaya say we butter up this morning’s biscuit with some fresh Southern jam. Take it away you son of a legend HANK III @SheltonHankWilliamsIII.

As “Crazed Country Rebel” starts playin’, his Earbuds beep with a call from the Designer of the 2DANs @FartSavesWorld.

Groovin’ along, he answers.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Can’t believe that worked.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds). Ain’t always pretty, but it sure is beautiful.

EXT. GOVERNMENT BUILDING - SHORTLY THEREAFTER

Banjo dashes across the street in front of the always busy post production studio @Picture.Head, where he spots a pair of flip flops and remote controlled sex toy oddly paired together. He steps past it, while simultaneously snapping a photo. Or two.

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In Hollywood - you’ll run into your fair share of dildos

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Still... kinda crazy -

When he picks his head up, he spots someone who looks just like Sanjay coming at him from the other direction. It’s music Producer YETI @YetiBeats - fresh off a long night in his Himalayan Studio.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds). Guess that’s why they still write love songs.
  • YETI
  • Amsterdam - with Doja... in like an hour. 
  • BANJO
  • (pointing to Yeti) #Mooo!
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • 💯

Yeti and Banjo quickly embrace each other on the move - neither losing a step.

EXT. MIDDLE OF BUSY STREET - CONTINUOUS

Banjo ziggies his way between the multitude of cars that have stacked up at the red light. Dan’s other line beeps.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • One sec.

EXT. SIDE STREET - ONGOING

Dan clicks off just as Banjo’s call waiting also beeps. He switches over while gliding past beauty festival creators @Beautycon.

  • CLIENT (V.O.)
  • Can I read you something?
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) I’d like to thank The Academy...

He listens to the opening salvo of a smart idea served up incorrectly. As CLIENT @ArtTender77 continues to get amped, Banjo rolls up on ALI @FakihFadi standing outside his cafe. They exchange exaggerated grins and puffed out, tough guy chests. As Banjo passes, Ali hands him the yummiest looking ethnically authentic breakfast pastry.

  • ALI
  • Mama’s specialty - enjoy!

Without breaking stride, Banjo does a 360 degree pirouette - raising the pastry in salute to Ali’s mama - mouthing thank you as he turns his attention back to the client finishing the reading of the letter.

EXT. DANKY HOTEL TURNED SLIGHTLY LESS DANKY APARTMENTS - MOMENTS AFTER

  • CLIENT (V.O.)
  • (finally finished - breathing heavy)

Banjo jumps on the moment of silence.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Think you’re slidin’ off the log on this one.
  • CLIENT (V.O.)
  • Huh?
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Feels like a short-sighted way to play the long game.

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It’s Hollywood - don’t be a sucker

  • CLIENT (V.O.)
  • Sometimes I just wanna -
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Don’t! Tickle their nuts a little - describe how much easier their life will be if they tried it this other way.
  • CLIENT (V.O.)
  • (deep breath) I suppose.

Banjo and the Client hear Dan beeping back on Banjo’s other line.

  • CLIENT (V.O.) ...continued
  • Thanks for walking me off the ledge.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Giddy-up.

Banjo clicks back to Dan.

EXT. INFAMOUS APARTMENT BLDG. - LESS THAN A MINUTE LATER

Banjo approaches the modest garage area that a city-wide fire bug set ablaze during an arson spree a few years back. He shakes his head thinking how scary that was and how lucky those people were.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • That was Jin - @Starbucks App is down - people are freakin’.

Across the street, he watches the mayhem of the upscale mommies lined up to drop their kids off at the new Charter @StratfordSchool

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) It’s all a clown show.

As he makes his way to the curb, Banjo thumbs open his Instagram. Actress DAWN @OhDawnAnderson is playing eyebrow and smiling games, Chef MEGAN @ChefMeganMitch is servin’ up somethin’ yummy and the musician MOBY @Moby just posted another picture of himself with hair from back in the day.

EXT. CROSSWALK - CONTINUOUS

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • People are looney.

Banjo nods a subtle approval as cars on both sides stop to let him cross. He hangs back for an extra spilt second and is glad he did - some asswipe texting while driving flies right in front of him.

  • BANJO
  • (at car) Really brah?!?

Banjo puts the phone back in his pocket and makes his way into the street.

EXT. PUBLIC POOL - SECONDS LATER

From the other sidewalk, the new public pool comes into view. Empty now, but the prep for Summer sports and recreation is already under way. Across the way, the Spiritualist Center looks on without judgement.

Up ahead, Banjo sees DJ. Hard to miss with that huge Raiders tattoo on his head.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) New York, huh?

Banjo waves to DJ.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Set for new James Brown show.

DJ - Danny James Moore - has lived on the streets of Hollywood for over 20 years. While most people come to LA to chase their dream, DJ came to escape his nightmare. On walkabouts, he and Banjo seem to cross paths a lot and have shared more than a few stories about life on the streets.

In Hollywood - staying clean can be a challenge

  • DJ
  • (to Banjo) Hey brotha.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds and to DJ) Give the drummer some.

DJ smiles as he SCRATCHES himself. Banjo pretends not to notice.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Not that James Brown - football guy.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) NFL - very nice.
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Remembered me from our NBA days.

Still moving, Banjo hands DJ the breakfast pastry from Ali’s mama. DJ peers into his hands, then looks up with a grin. They point to each other as Banjo picks up speed -

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Baller!

EXT. TREE COVERED STREET - CONTINUOUS

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Not sure what I’m gonna do yet.

As Banjo is thinking about how quickly things change on the street, he notices a hose hooked up at the far edge of a freshly cleared lot. He thinks maybe DJ could use it to spray himself down. He exhales a large breath - he can do better than that.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Just steer into the skid.
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • And its not James Brown anymore, it’s Boomer Esiason.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Good thing you don’t really know either one.

Banjo comes across another tasty little nugget and stops to take a picture. Or two. It’s another example that nicely showcases the duality of the evolving Hollywood landscape.

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In Hollywood - you need to decide how you want to get there

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Funny guy.

EXT. ROW OF PRODUCTION HOUSES - CONTINUOUS

Banjo notices a text on his phone from his equipment entrepreneur pal JAKE @Downtown.Hockey. It reads: Help!

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Ever wonder how those guys way up in those construction cranes go to the bathroom?
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Nope.

They laugh as Banjo strides by a massive new construction next to the LGBTQ experimental theater @CelebrationThtr.

Banjo texts Jake back: Your last IG Post felt angry.

EXT. COLLISION REPAIR SHOP - CONTINUOUS

He passes the shy homeless pirate guy and returns his sheepish nod.

A text comes back immediately from Jake. It reads: Frustrated.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • What happened with WriteOutMan?

EXT. CROSS WALK - ONGOING

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Ha! Referenced a recent @Variety article about a writer’s room doing damage control after the show’s star went off the rails.
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Real life - I like it.

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Banjo suggests Jake employ a more positive and light-hearted direction. He texts: Fluffy dogs & puppy clouds.

EXT. OTHER SIDE OF STREET - SOON AFTER

He stands for a moment outside one of those restaurant spaces that never makes it. Crazy how so many spots just take off and some never get off the starting line. A car HONKS just as Jake’s🖕! text comes through.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) I was like remember how in “Elf,” when the new book needed to be great, they brought in the magic man - Actor @PeterDinklage.
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Love that movie.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) WriteOutMan's an on-call Scribe who cleans up script messes created by abhorrent off-screen behavior.

EXT. TRAFFIC ROUNDABOUT - CONTINUOUS

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Smother your Smollett.

Banjo shields his face and holds his breath as the STREET CLEANER sweeps by.

  • BANJO
  • (coughing - into Earbuds) Rub out your Roseanne.

When the haze clears, he notices a construction blockage up ahead -

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Like adding the Actor Harvey Keitel’s @HarveyKeitelPics fixer character from “Pulp Fiction” to the writer’s room.

Seems the front stairs of that old apartment building finally collapsed. A RESIDENT stares at the rubble.

  • BANJO
  • (to Resident) Damn dawg.

He immediately bounces in a different direction. Again, thinking of DJ - how’s he supposed to ever clean up his act if he can’t even clean up?

EXT. OLD COMMUNITY GARDEN - NOT MUCH LATER

He shakes his head as he passes the community garden @LAGardenCouncil recently turned into upscale live-work lofts. An old GTO driven by RODNEY Bingenheimer chugs by.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds looking at driver) Mayor of the Sunset Strip.
  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Who’s that?

Banjo comes up on an older dude who looks like he just took a big hit of pot.

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Rodney on the ROQ.
  • DUDE
  • Rodney!

The dude accidentally exhales sending out a plume of smoke.

Dan still doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ about.

EXT. SIDE STREET - AFTER

Banjo turns the corner. As he gets to the edge of a hedge, he walks by two street hustlers getting ready for their morning shift.

In Hollywood - how you prepare is how you perform

  • HUSTLER 1
  • (to Banjo) How you doin’ honey?

Banjo smiles and nods.

  • HUSTLER 2
  • (to Banjo) A date might get you to slow down a little.
  • BANJO
  • (to Hustlers and accidentally in Earbuds) No thank you.

EXT. BUSY STREET - MOMENTS AFTER

There’s a break in traffic, so he quickly darts to get across - still responding to the Hustlers. On the way, his phone lodges loose from his pocket and almost comes out.

  • BANJO ...continued
  • (to Hustlers and accidentally in Earbuds) Later.

Quick hands keep the phone from hitting the ground and the journey continues unencumbered.

  • DAN (V.O.)
  • Later.

Dan hangs up.

Unfazed, Banjo’s pace is fast as he strides past gated driveways, roots growing through sidewalks, a blinking traffic sign...

EXT. DRIVEWAY - SPLIT SECOND LATER

As if a jungle cat spotting prey, Banjo changes course and maneuvers effortlessly up a short driveway to a garage filled with junk. There’s a toilet piled high with cleansers and surrounded by construction items. Still in motion, he snaps a picture, or two, and is back on his merry way.

Banjo also Instagrams pics and quips under the alias KID PORCELAIN - toilet whisperer @ToiletsInTheWild.

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It’s Hollywood - dream baby dream

Guinness World Records thinks his huge collection of abandoned toilet pics, vids and musings is too weird, but the United Nations cherish his contributions to World Toilet Day - true story.

EXT. FARMER’S MARKET - A SHORT TIME AFTER

The pace is fast - the strides are long and the breathing is easy as he approaches the West Hollywood Farmer’s Market. He thinks to himself how good a falafel sounds.

EXT. INTERSECTION - CONTINUOUS

Banjo makes his way through at the same time as LA’s original scooterist HOLLAND @HollandMacFallister. They pass without interacting - then Holland turns around and yells:

  • HOLLAND
  • (waves arm) Hey! Good to see you.

Banjo smiles and gives him a hey-how-do-you-do arm motion back.

A uniquely dressed @HomelessInLosAngeles guy sneezes as Banjo passes.

  • BANJO
  • Gazuntite.

The guy acknowledges the sentiment, then begins to reminisce about the LA sport’s scene.

In Hollywood - people respond to a passionate pitch

Banjo wonders where he showers. 

Up ahead, the freshly painted wall of the flagship @GuitarCenter comes into view. Banjo ducks into the first of three alleys.

EXT. FIRST ALLEY - RIGHT THEN

He motors through the back of the Mexican restaurant @ElCompadreRestaurant - taking in the smell of brown weed coming through one of the nearby apartment windows. He punches up Elizabeth Cook again - she chimes in almost immediately.

  • ELIZABETH COOK
  • Other day, I was in @Walgreens tryin’ to get me some of them old people sunglasses - you know the ones -

Banjo crosses the street.

EXT. SECOND ALLEY - STEPS LATER

  • ELIZABETH COOK ...continued
  • You put 'em over your own glasses to block out your hangover - I mean sunlight.

He comes out the other side into the driveway of @LosAngelesFireDepartment and nods an approval to the Fireman pulling a sled of weights.

  • BANJO
  • Nice.

The fireman holds up his hand to say thanks while bending at the waist to catch his breath.

  • ELIZABETH COOK ...continued
  • I mean they were like $30 and I was like when did Cocoons®️ get all boujee?!? I wonder if Singer / Songwriter @NikkiLane77 was thinkin’ bout that when she wrote “Send the Sun.” Take it away Nik -

EXT. THIRD ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER

Banjo makes his way between the backs of two buildings. Next to the old-school car repair garage, a high mileage lookin’ guy smokes a cigarette on an overturned bucket while looking at his phone.

A few steps beyond that, the driveway opens to a moderately filled parking lot. Banjo passes a table of two on the back patio of the organic eatery @ElderberriesCafe as he makes his way to the front porch of the 50’s style boxing factory @FortuneGym.

He pauses the music.

EXT. GYM FRONT PORCH - AT THAT MOMENT

Former top Heavyweight JEREMY @Jeremy_A_Williamz sits in one of the chairs. They haven’t seen each other in a while.

  • JEREMY
  • Well well well - looks like they lettin’ anyone in today.
  • BANJO
  • Lookin’ huge baby!
  • JEREMY
  • Thx bro.
  • BANJO
  • Meant you look bloated.
  • JEREMY
  • (laughs) Funny guy.

They fist bump and elbow each other like playful bear cubs as Banjo walks by him and through the gym’s front door.

INT. GYM - CONTINUOUS

Banjo signs in at the front desk and says hey to one of the Trainers CHRIS @ChambaBoxing, who is getting teased by Chiropractor DARREN @DRD_TheSportsDoc about the messaging on his cap.

  • DARREN
  • What the fuck’s Chamba?
  • CHRIS
  • It means work in Spanish. Cuz that’s what we do.

The gym’s co-owner TAMARA comes out of the office and SMACKS the counter.

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It's Hollywood - toughen the f*ck up

  • TAMARA
  • Means spank my ass.
  • BANJO
  • Cuz that’s what we do!

Tamara gives Banjo a shot to the ribs on the way by.

  • TAMARA
  • Tell ‘em.

Smarting, he notices high speed action in the ring as he continues into the -

INT. LOCKER ROOM - IMMEDIATELY AFTER

The concrete floor turns parquet. A stack of old steel lockers are adorned with an unlit, half melted patchouli candle and 3/4’s of a Go Hard or Go Home sticker. An unframed mirror, mismatched chairs and simple wood bench complete the prison chic decor.

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It’s Hollywood - learn the dance

Chef & TV personality CURTIS @CurtisStone is in the final stages of getting dressed after his workout.

  • CURTIS
  • (Australan accent) Ow ya doin’ Mate?
  • BANJO
  • B+.
  • CURTIS
  • (Australian accent) Alright then.

Curtis shuts the door as he leaves. Banjo unloads his gym bag as the bloody work-in-progress JAVIER @Kings_Of_Coyotes walks in from sparring. He takes out his slobbery mouth guard and shakes his long, sweaty hair like a dog drying off after a dip in the pool.

  • BANJO
  • Killin’ it out there.
  • JAVIER
  • Fuckin’ fun as fuck.

Javier digs for the towel in his bag and wipes his face.

Banjo opens the door and dives in.

INT. MAIN GYM AREA - CONTINUOUS

@IAmCardiB plays over the speakers.

Trainers PETER @ARogueGentleman is talking to DAVID @ChefDavidAngel as they roll their client’s hand wraps.

Banjo disappears down the side hallway.

INT. BATHROOM - SECONDS AFTER

As he washes his hands, he reads the framed, weathered article about Macka Foley’s upcoming TV bout for the millionth time.

Hmm... maybe he'll ask his gym owner buddy about letting DJ shower there.

INT. MAIN GYM AREA - A REFLECTIVE MOMENT LATER

Wraps, gloves, water and towel in tow, he neck-nod acknowledges Chef David.

  • DAVID
  • What’s up Pupa?

Then he Frogger his way across the gym. Along the way, he’s spotted in the mirror by up and coming light-heavyweight FRANKIE @FrankieLopezG who’s jumping rope.

  • FRANKIE
  • Sup Amigo?

Banjo nods and smiles at the back of Frankie’s head.

Next to Frankie, Cruiserweight Champion DENIS @DenisLebedev is shadow boxing. Nicest guy, but he hits so hard you wouldn’t want to be his shadow. Banjo studder-steps a hey-how-do-you-do Harpo Marx type knee greeting his way.

Polly pocket with a punch SARAH @SarahFiskeTraining stretches while she talks to her dog Mayhem.

  • BANJO
  • 'Morning.
  • SARAH
  • Missed ya at goat yoga.
  • BANJO
  • (as a goat) Baaah.

As Banjo lays down his arm’s contents, he overhears former Muay Thai champion JOHNNY @TheRealJohnnyHunt talking to Stylist ILARIA @IlariaUrbinati

  • JOHNNY
  • Slow knees aren’t any good to anyone.

INT. MAT AREA - SOON AFTER

Banjo’s long & strong training method focuses on strength, balance, athleticism and explosiveness - exercises created from years of working out next to pro fighters, action stars and over-the-top fitness junkies. He warms up with a series of stretches.

In the corner, Massage Therapist KAI @Kai_Zama is rubbing down a new client after a tough first workout.

Banjo is on his back with his feet over his head touching the mat behind him when the prolific IG Poster and normally jubilant weight loss specialist KENNETH @FatBoyShrinkBoxing approaches.

  • BANJO
  • Dazzle me.
  • KENNETH
  • (sighs) Nuthin’.
  • BANJO
  • Relax - (rolling over) even Betty Crocker baked a few off-cakes.
  • KENNETH
  • Goin’ super hard - plateaued.
  • BANJO
  • (shaking head) Can’t go knuckle deep and expect tiny circle results.
  • KENNETH
  • Not sure what that means.
  • BANJO
  • You’re pressing.

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In Hollywood - you’re in a Tinder box

  • KENNETH
  • Still don’t follow.
  • BANJO
  • When u started, you and your clients were new to all this.
  • KENNETH
  • True.
  • BANJO
  • You guys trained hard, but it was fun and light. Lots of bloopers.
  • KENNETH
  • Yes.
  • BANJO
  • You were having fun in the gym and it translated into excellent Content for your Instagram.
  • KENNETH
  • Correct.
  • BANJO
  • Now you guys are better- more focused and everything is a little more serious - not as fun.
  • KENNETH
  • Sure.
  • BANJO
  • Step back - re-find that love of the game and salt to taste.
  • KENNETH
  • I get that - thanks.

They fist bump.

  • BANJO
  • Giddy-up.

INT. CORNER OF THE GYM - CONTINUOUS

Banjo is halfway through a set of dips when his gym owner buddy walks by.

After already blurting out -

  • BANJO
  • Hey man - I gotta question...

He turns his head - looking straight at the tattered sign on the door to the single shower.

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It’s Hollywood - people got shit to do

He immediately has second thoughts about the DJ shower and switches gears - instead attempting to bust some new father chops.

  • BANJO
  • Heard the big guy JAMES @JamesPaladino is actually one of your twins’ father.
  • JUSTIN
  • (Australian accent) If he is, I wish he’d come by and take the little fucka.

They laugh as retired NFL star turned bare-knuckle boxer SHAWNE @ShawneMerriman closes the door behind them to take a shower.

This wasn’t the answer - he knows that - DJ needs a place where he can leisurely let the harsh living of the streets wash off his body. Banjo shakes his head, exhales and does another set.

INT. BOXING RING - 15 MINUTES LATER

Seems somebody else took over the tunes. @ACDC starts blasting.

Banjo begins a long series of high speed leg raises to the top rope, switching to a crazy Rope-A-Dope balance and ab crunch - all with his eyes closed. When finished, he opens his peepers to see Actor FRANK @FrankGrillo1 and JOSÉ Navarro banging mitts right in front of him. Unfazed by the closeness of the fighters or power of the punches -

  • BANJO
  • (smiles to Frank) Enjoyed that article - very inspirational.
  • FRANK
  • (movie star smile) Thanks, man.
  • BANJO
  • Kinda worried you might be getting overexposed.
  • FRANK
  • Ha!
  • BANJO
  • (smiles to Frank) Don’t want people to get sick of you before they even know who you are.
  • FRANK
  • (laughing) You’re a dick.

Punches continue to fly as Banjo closes his eyes for more crunches.

INT. FLOOR AREA - A FEW ROUNDS LATER

Banjo is balancing on an exercise ball hitting the heavy bag when Jiu Jitsu Blackbelt LARS @LarsWallinPT squats next to him for a set of man-makers. During a mutual break, Banjo thanks him for the new ab exercises.

  • BANJO
  • (patting stomach) Totally felt it the next day.
  • LARS
  • (English with Swedish accent) If you study Early Man, you see we were never designed to stand up. 
  • BANJO
  • Right on.
  • LARS
  • (English with Swedish accent) Over time, it was our abs that allowed us to be upright.
  • BANJO
  • Makes sense.
  • LARS
  • (English with Swedish accent) Most important thing to remember - there is no such thing as upper and lower abs - it’s really just one giant balloon muscle with painters tape.
  • BANJO
  • Painters tape?

Lars pulls up his shirt to reveal an eight pack. Then pushes it out to create a balloon-like stomach from which he tears pieces of imaginary tape to illustrate how abs formed and ape became man.

Smiling, Banjo mouths the tune from 2001 Space odyssey.

  • LARS
  • If you ever go into a gym like @Equinox or @GoldsGymSoCal - ask a trainer if he has any good lower ab exercises.
  • BANJO
  • (head bobbling) K.
  • LARS
  • If he starts to show you some (gets animated), leave immediately! There are no lower ab exercises, just -
  • LARS & BANJO (Together)
  • Ab exercises.
  • BANJO
  • So outta there.

Educated and entertained, Banjo heads to the speed bag. It’s set über high. He notices the very tall and frequent TEDx speaker ANDREW @TheMightyKingDrew on the other side of the gym and it makes sense.

Classic Rock continues to crank.

SFX: SPEED BAG

Banjo’s rhythm is right and his speed is good. Left left right right left right left right left right left left right right left left right right left left right right...

The phone VIBRATES in his pocket. It’s a text from Casting Director LADY J. It reads: So so sorry - slammed! Can you do me a favor?

Banjo replies to her text: 💯

Relieved, Lady J’s series of messages explain that she has a session this afternoon and needs to pull props for it. And maybe if he had a few thoughts on what to do in the room...

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In Hollywood - always take your best stab at it

Banjo replies to her text: 👍

He cuts the workout short, gathers his things and heads back to the locker room.

EXT. GYM FRONT PORCH - MOMENTS LATER

Fellow gym mates MAGGIE @MaggieTheMay is on her phone and comic illustrator DAN @UrbanBarbarian is catching his breath, while Banjo eats his banana standing in front of the Macka memorial chair glancing @BleacherReport. JUSTIN Fortune walks out. He leaves in the morning to train @MannyPacquiao in the Philippines for the next month. They reminisce about Manny as an eight division world champion.

  • JUSTIN
  • (Austrailian accent) Unf*cking believable athlete - in as good of shape at 40 as he was at 20.

Speaking of old - Banjo shares his recent work with @Rock_Steady_Boxing. Says is pal and musician @EvanBrau.com is technically more a martial artist than a boxer, but it‘s amazing how the workouts attack the effects of Parkinson’s in Seniors.

  • JUSTIN
  • (smiles / Austrailian accent) Win’s a win.

Banjo leaves the porch area.

  • BANJO
  • (over shoulder) Safe travels baby - kill it!
  • JUSTIN
  • (Austrailian accent) Thanks Mate.

EXT. PARKING AREA - RIGHT AFTER

Banjo exits the alley from the other end. He dashes across the street into the always messy parking area of 7-Eleven.

He puts his Earbuds back in and loads up his guilty pleasures on @Spotify.

Across the street, he glances at the auction house @Bonhams1793 and wonders what’s on sale today? A Mary to Abe Lincoln honey-do list, or maybe a mantle from a turn of the century French chateaux?

A-list celebrity @Platinum_CarRental’s day is already full steam ahead - they’re changing the wrap color on a gull-wing Lambo and waxing a Maybach.

Picking up steam, he notices a few people dining outside @ThePikeyLA. Mmm... fish and chips sounds kinda good, too.

He gets a little nostalgic looking at the old store front of @SamuelFrenchBookShop. For so long, it was the place in LA people went when they wanted to get into the business.

There’s an impromptu photo shoot goin’ down @Chipotle. A very pretty girl with a bright pink hat and super exaggerated bright pink lips is prancing around to the titillation and aggravation of an older gentlemen trying to park his late model Buick.

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In Hollywood - notice the little things

Such a Hollywood moment Banjo thinks to himself as he quickly covers off another block and pulls up to the @LAModels building.

INT. L.A. MODELS / EXCLUSIVE STUDIOS BUILDING - MINUTES LATER

Banjo bounces up the stairs into the main lobby area for the casting offices of @ExclusiveStudios.

He says a quick hello to KATE from @DanielleCasting and her pup, while taking in an inspirational quote from street artist @Wrdsmth that’s plastered on the building across the way.

He makes his way through the saloon doors to the back area and peeks in to say hello to NATALIE @Natster444, but she’s not around. As Facilities Manager PETE @Munsi comes walking up the hall -

  • BANJO
  • WTF?
  • PETE
  • IDK.
  • BANJO
  • YOLO.
  • PETE
  • PLZ.
  • BANJO
  • LMAO.

Banjo makes his way down the hall. He passes the office of Acting Coach JOSEPH @JosephPearlman and startles him with a SFX: KNOCK KNOCK.

EXT. LESSALL CASTING OFFICE - AFTER THAT

Casting Director MATT @LessallCasting.com is on the phone. He gives Banjo the one-minute sign. 

  • MATT
  • (into phone) I already told her - you’re a first time filmmaker with no buzz or budget. It’s not even a juicy role. She’s not getting a star the magnitude of @TiffanyHaddish.

Banjo rummages through the nearby prop closet and takes out a variety of pieces that might work for the audition situations Lady J described. He groups them out in the hallway as a way of visualizing the scenes. At this stage, you want just enough to get point across and not be distracting.

While working it out on the floor, the office door in front of him opens. A new Casting Director setting up shop for Pilot Season, no doubt.

  • BANJO
  • Hello.

No response.

Banjo finds it odd, but carries on with the task at hand. He gathers up the props and puts them on Lady J's desk with some setup and blocking notes - walking silently by the woman’s office at least three more times.

The woman eventually turns her head and says -

  • WOMAN
  • Hey - sorry, I’m just really busy and I...

He understands - everyone deals with stress differently.

  • BANJO
  • No prob.

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He looks back into Matt's office - he's still on the phone.

  • MATT
  • ...She doesn’t really want her anyway - Tiffany’s way too busy being fabulous. A new Director should want Actors who can give them their attention.

Banjo flashes Matt the peace sign and heads out.

EXT. EXCLUSIVE STUDIOS - A VERY SHORT TIME LATER

The sun is getting hotter as Banjo starts out again.

His phone vibrates as a text comes in from the no holds barred hockey thread. It’s another picture of Line Producer MIKEY @Puck_Player in a compromised / photoshopped position.

Exercise boot camp Owner CHRIS @SweatGarage thinks it’s funny. Digital Media Exec KYLAN @Kylander calls it Low E - meaning he is not impresssd.

Banjo knows that little snipe is going to launch a rat-a-tat-tat of text chop busting and a photoshop frenzy. Should be fun.

EXT. SUNSET BLVD.-MOMENTS LATER

He picks up speed past rows of parallel parked cars, a new outdoor tea cafe and pole dancing studio @BeSpun.

He’s close to the salon @TheCutBy, so he thinks to stop by and see the multihyphenate WADE @UniversalHandprint to get that hair paste he’s out of.

The phone RINGS. It’s CLIF, Director of the stoner comedy @DoobiousSources.

  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • Finally saw that Peter Jackson WWI movie.

As suspected, a hockey text war is breaking out.

”Survivor” Producer CLARK @ClarkSandwich serves up an aggressive skinny jeans rip.

Banjo passes Toi Thai restaurant...

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Crazy, right?

Almost immediately, horse racing Photographer and skinny jean sporting ALEX @A_Evers texts back doubly hard. Cuz sometimes you don’t have to be called out to be called out.

EXT. SIDE STREET - CONTINUOUS

He turns the corner strutting by a bunch of small offices and craft shops.

  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • Unbelievable the amount of work behind collecting all that material before editing.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Can’t score if ya don’t shoot. 

He comes up on kindergarten - sixth grade @GardnerStreetSchool and is reminded of their on again off again relationship with their Michael Jackson Auditorium.

The tourists in the @Tmz.Tour van off to the side are hearing a similar tale.

  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • True that.

EXT. CUT THROUGH STREET’S LONG STRAIGHTAWAY - CONTINUOUS

He turns the corner and blasts past a row of houses trying to grow enough foliage to block out the school. A guy zens out in his car.

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It’s only Hollywood - you got this

Banjo has a hankerin’ for rice bowl @BBQRiceLA but he’s already passed it.

Financial Analyst JOHNNY @Jalexm chimes in by texting his Chris joke approval. 👏👏👏. Dumb move - he just became a target.

  • CLIF (V.O.) ...continued
  • Even though it’s on a totally different scale, it really is like what I’m doing.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Fastball down the middle.
  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • Very inspiring - thanks for pointing that out.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Stay gold Ponyboy.

They hang up.

Through the stop sign, he continues past apartment buildings and balconies. Glancing down, Banjo notices he’s about to step in dog crap smeared on the sidewalk. Somehow, he pivots and does a mid air change of foot landing - successful but not very graceful.

EXT. CROSSWALK - SHORTLY AFTER THAT

Waiting for the light to change, Banjo laughs as he reads Talent Manager BRIAN @BrianMedavoy’s reply from their recent email exchange.

He dashes across, then cuts through a small side street to get to -

EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD - MINUTES LATER

Banjo flips through his tunes and fires up the Rapper @JPegMafia while standing in front of the eatery @BWWings.

He continues down past the Boulevard stars of Brock Peters, Liza Minnelli, Lou Gossett Jr., David Spade...

Wait - is that... old pal and Actor TOM @TomFugedi?!?

Like a skilled pairs figure skating team - they pass each other, lock eyes and spin with the exact same what-are-you-doing-here look.

  • TOM
  • Audition - late - gotta take a...

He b-lines it into the posh lobby @TheHollywoodRoosevelt and like that, he’s gone.

There’s a break in traffic. Banjo dashes toward the meat of the Walk of Fame. He looks back over his shoulder -

  • BANJO
  • (to himself) Melrose Larry Green?

EXT. WALK OF FAME - AT THAT MOMENT

Banjo slaloms his way thru the crowd taking in the various Boulevard characters as he goes.

  • 2D8540A3 7614 4843 B3A0 B207DE6C3EFE

    In Hollywood - everyone puts on their tights one leg at a time

  • 35DDE8D1 7374 493B A70F C66133CD0403

    In Hollywood - you can't be chicken

  • 738E0D30 42F6 40B2 ABF1 4A7584E17C75

    In Hollywood - everyone looks like somebody

EXT. HOLLYWOOD & HIGHLAND - MINUTES LATER

Banjo makes his way back to the other sided the street, then strides past the music school @MIHollywood and Supply Seargent.

He sees that they’re fixing the door of the always playful @Escape_Hotel. Laughing, it makes him think of Nail Stylist to the stars JENNA @JennaHipp and Headshot Photographer DAVE @DavidMullerPhotography.

As he punches their names into his Remember to Remind Me file, he has an idea and makes a quick detour to The Y @YMCALA.

Banjo walks in the door and asks the FRONT DESK WORKER about a day pass.

  • FRONT DESK WORKER
  • $10 and I.D. - good for the whole day, all facilities - gym, pool, sauna, shower...
  • BANJO
  • (excited) Giddy-up!

He walks back out and makes his way back to The Boulevard - past the numerous gawkers, stripper supply stores, Hollywood Toys and Costumes, Urban Masala, @HustlerStores, @JoesPizzaLA...

He has a skip in his step and starts mentally putting together a DJ shower and swag bag - lock, towel, maybe a fresh pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. He'll feel sooo much better. And then, who knows?!?

Suddenly, he comes up on a guy sleeping on his prosthetic leg so no one will take it.

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Banjo slows his pace like when the yellow flag comes out in an auto race. It can be very sad to see the harshness of the Boulevard of broken dreams.

He takes a deep breath and repeats his friend of the friendless mantra. He gets back up to speed as he passes the new attraction @VirtualRoomWorld.

EXT. JUICE FOUNTAIN - CONTINUOUS

Looks like an accident out front. As he approaches, there’s sirens, police cars - even a helicopter overhead. Banjo sees Juice Fountain GRANDMA watching the fracas.

  • GRANDMA
  • Hi honey.

She blows him a kiss - he catches it in stride like a football wide receiver.

Across the way is the un-PC sign for strip club @DejaVu_Worldwide. It reads: 1000 pretty girls and three ugly ones. He’s always curious when someone will take offense to that.

EXT. VINE - MOMENTS LATER

He makes the turn. They’re washing the sidewalk outside the always popular @KatsuyaSBE and the refurbished @The_Montalban is changing the marquee.

He passes George Carlin’s star -

  • BANJO
  • (out-loud to himself) Argh!

He forgot the hair stuff at Wade’s.

Oh well - he’s got a breakfast burrito on the brain and taps in his thought.

Standing on the curb checking out the Cinerama Dome of @ArclightCinemas, Banjo spots a bunch of meshugas and decides to cut through the nearby parking garage.

EXT. PARKING GARAGE - SOON AFTER

Stepping out, he encounters construction delays at the new Academy building.

As luck would have it, he sees DJ standing off on his own next to a small but growing tent city.

In Hollywood - success comes in many forms

  • BANJO
  • Yo bud.

Banjo approaches and gleefully tells him the plan.

  • DJ
  • (without missing a beat) Can’t. No I.D.

And just like that, it’s over.

Banjo is deflated, but DJ doesn’t seem all that bothered.

  • DJ
  • It's cool - there's a hose hooked up in an empty lot a few streets from here.

Banjo is disappointed that DJ doesn't want better.

  • BANJO
  • Right on.

He flips DJ his water bottle, tells him to hydrate and wishes him a pleasant rest of day.

  • DJ
  • Thanks bro.
  • BANJO
  • 👍

Banjo’s perplexed and a little sad - but he quickly realizes that maybe it's not up to him to determine someone elses' priorities. 

As he makes his way by the orange vested flag guy in charge of traffic control, he contemplates asking how the high-crane operator goes to the bathroom. But he remembers the get out of here you freak response last time and decides against it.

The canna-billboard above the Peruvian restaurant @LosBalconesLA is not his favorite. Feels combative and not at all in keeping with the jazz-like flavor of @TheParkerRoom.

Speaking of jazz, he decides to check a couple Instas to see if anyone interesting is playin’. He thumbs through the Stories of record store @AmoebaHollywood, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery @HwdForever and famed night club @TheTroubadour. Oh wow, real estate expert @SmithCho.Inc. will definitely want to know about that.

INT. LUNCH SPOT - 10 MINUTES LATER

He slides into the canteen @CactusMexCuisine and up to the counter -

Banjo smiles at the friendly CACTUS EMPLOYEE who hands him a -

  • CACTUS EMPLOYEE
  • (smiles) California burrito.

Banjo’s back out the door before it even has a chance to close. He swings his bag around and drops the burrito in. Then, like a horse recognizing the home stretch, he kicks it into another gear.

It’s quiet at the popular late night venue @SassafrasSaloon, but there’s an early morning $229 ‘oak’ dining room sale going on in front of the retail outlet @GoodwillSoCal. It does not appear to be authorized.

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In Hollywood - you can’t lose faith

He passes @TacoBell and notices a shoot going on at the just remodeled @ThreeClubs.

EXT. INITIAL STREET FROM EARLIER - SHORTLY THEREAFTER

Banjo’s engines begin to power down as he takes in the events of the early morning voyage. He shakes his head -

  • BANJO
  • (out-loud to himself) F*ckin’ Hollywood.

Anything is possible every time out the door.

EXT. THE RED DOOR - A MOMENT LATER

A voice calls out from the curb.

  • KIM
  • Got a light?

He does. And finally stops.

She introduces herself as recent LA transplant Kim Jones.

In Hollywood - it helps to have a plan

INT. GARDEN - AFTER

The RED DOOR shuts.

A NSFW text from Canna-Grower PRIEST @TheRanch_CraftFarming reawakens the hockey lads.

Banjo heads in to take a shower. The day begins.

 

First Episode: “Head on a Swivel”
Back to: Good in the ‘Wood Main