GOOD IN THE 'WOOD
VIRTUAL strolls thru REAL Hollywood

EXT. THIRD ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER

Banjo makes his way between the backs of two buildings. Next to the old-school car repair garage, a high mileage lookin’ guy smokes a cigarette on an overturned bucket while looking at his phone.

A few steps beyond that, the driveway opens to a moderately filled parking lot. Banjo passes a table of two on the back patio of the organic eatery @ElderberriesCafe as he makes his way to the front porch of the 50’s style boxing factory @FortuneGym.

He pauses the music.

EXT. GYM FRONT PORCH - AT THAT MOMENT

Former top Heavyweight JEREMY @Jeremy_A_Williamz sits in one of the chairs. They haven’t seen each other in a while.

  • JEREMY
  • Well well well - looks like they lettin’ anyone in today.
  • BANJO
  • Lookin’ huge baby!
  • JEREMY
  • Thx bro.
  • BANJO
  • Meant you look bloated.
  • JEREMY
  • (laughs) Funny guy.

They fist bump and elbow each other like playful bear cubs as Banjo walks by him and through the gym’s front door.

INT. GYM - CONTINUOUS

Banjo signs in at the front desk and says hey to one of the Trainers CHRIS @ChambaBoxing, who is getting teased by Chiropractor DARREN @DRD_TheSportsDoc about the messaging on his cap.

  • DARREN
  • What the fuck’s Chamba?
  • CHRIS
  • It means work in Spanish. Cuz that’s what we do.

The gym’s co-owner TAMARA comes out of the office and SMACKS the counter.

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It's Hollywood - toughen the f*ck up

  • TAMARA
  • Means spank my ass.
  • BANJO
  • Cuz that’s what we do!

Tamara gives Banjo a shot to the ribs on the way by.

  • TAMARA
  • Tell ‘em.

Smarting, he notices high speed action in the ring as he continues into the -

INT. LOCKER ROOM - IMMEDIATELY AFTER

The concrete floor turns parquet. A stack of old steel lockers are adorned with an unlit, half melted patchouli candle and 3/4’s of a Go Hard or Go Home sticker. An unframed mirror, mismatched chairs and simple wood bench complete the prison chic decor.

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It’s Hollywood - learn the dance

Chef & TV personality CURTIS @CurtisStone is in the final stages of getting dressed after his workout.

  • CURTIS
  • (Australan accent) Ow ya doin’ Mate?
  • BANJO
  • B+.
  • CURTIS
  • (Australian accent) Alright then.

Curtis shuts the door as he leaves. Banjo unloads his gym bag as the bloody work-in-progress JAVIER @Kings_Of_Coyotes walks in from sparring. He takes out his slobbery mouth guard and shakes his long, sweaty hair like a dog drying off after a dip in the pool.

  • BANJO
  • Killin’ it out there.
  • JAVIER
  • Fuckin’ fun as fuck.

Javier digs for the towel in his bag and wipes his face.

Banjo opens the door and dives in.

INT. MAIN GYM AREA - CONTINUOUS

@IAmCardiB plays over the speakers.

Trainers PETER @ARogueGentleman is talking to DAVID @ChefDavidAngel as they roll their client’s hand wraps.

Banjo disappears down the side hallway.

INT. BATHROOM - SECONDS AFTER

As he washes his hands, he reads the framed, weathered article about Macka Foley’s upcoming TV bout for the millionth time.

Hmm... maybe he'll ask his gym owner buddy about letting DJ shower there.

INT. MAIN GYM AREA - A REFLECTIVE MOMENT LATER

Wraps, gloves, water and towel in tow, he neck-nod acknowledges Chef David.

  • DAVID
  • What’s up Pupa?

Then he Frogger his way across the gym. Along the way, he’s spotted in the mirror by up and coming light-heavyweight FRANKIE @FrankieLopezG who’s jumping rope.

  • FRANKIE
  • Sup Amigo?

Banjo nods and smiles at the back of Frankie’s head.

Next to Frankie, Cruiserweight Champion DENIS @DenisLebedev is shadow boxing. Nicest guy, but he hits so hard you wouldn’t want to be his shadow. Banjo studder-steps a hey-how-do-you-do Harpo Marx type knee greeting his way.

Polly pocket with a punch SARAH @SarahFiskeTraining stretches while she talks to her dog Mayhem.

  • BANJO
  • 'Morning.
  • SARAH
  • Missed ya at goat yoga.
  • BANJO
  • (as a goat) Baaah.

As Banjo lays down his arm’s contents, he overhears former Muay Thai champion JOHNNY @TheRealJohnnyHunt talking to Stylist ILARIA @IlariaUrbinati

  • JOHNNY
  • Slow knees aren’t any good to anyone.

INT. MAT AREA - SOON AFTER

Banjo’s long & strong training method focuses on strength, balance, athleticism and explosiveness - exercises created from years of working out next to pro fighters, action stars and over-the-top fitness junkies. He warms up with a series of stretches.

In the corner, Massage Therapist KAI @Kai_Zama is rubbing down a new client after a tough first workout.

Banjo is on his back with his feet over his head touching the mat behind him when the prolific IG Poster and normally jubilant weight loss specialist KENNETH @FatBoyShrinkBoxing approaches.

  • BANJO
  • Dazzle me.
  • KENNETH
  • (sighs) Nuthin’.
  • BANJO
  • Relax - (rolling over) even Betty Crocker baked a few off-cakes.
  • KENNETH
  • Goin’ super hard - plateaued.
  • BANJO
  • (shaking head) Can’t go knuckle deep and expect tiny circle results.
  • KENNETH
  • Not sure what that means.
  • BANJO
  • You’re pressing.

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In Hollywood - you’re in a Tinder box

  • KENNETH
  • Still don’t follow.
  • BANJO
  • When u started, you and your clients were new to all this.
  • KENNETH
  • True.
  • BANJO
  • You guys trained hard, but it was fun and light. Lots of bloopers.
  • KENNETH
  • Yes.
  • BANJO
  • You were having fun in the gym and it translated into excellent Content for your Instagram.
  • KENNETH
  • Correct.
  • BANJO
  • Now you guys are better- more focused and everything is a little more serious - not as fun.
  • KENNETH
  • Sure.
  • BANJO
  • Step back - re-find that love of the game and salt to taste.
  • KENNETH
  • I get that - thanks.

They fist bump.

  • BANJO
  • Giddy-up.

INT. CORNER OF THE GYM - CONTINUOUS

Banjo is halfway through a set of dips when his gym owner buddy walks by.

After already blurting out -

  • BANJO
  • Hey man - I gotta question...

He turns his head - looking straight at the tattered sign on the door to the single shower.

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It’s Hollywood - people got shit to do

He immediately has second thoughts about the DJ shower and switches gears - instead attempting to bust some new father chops.

  • BANJO
  • Heard the big guy JAMES @JamesPaladino is actually one of your twins’ father.
  • JUSTIN
  • (Australian accent) If he is, I wish he’d come by and take the little fucka.

They laugh as retired NFL star turned bare-knuckle boxer SHAWNE @ShawneMerriman closes the door behind them to take a shower.

This wasn’t the answer - he knows that - DJ needs a place where he can leisurely let the harsh living of the streets wash off his body. Banjo shakes his head, exhales and does another set.

INT. BOXING RING - 15 MINUTES LATER

Seems somebody else took over the tunes. @ACDC starts blasting.

Banjo begins a long series of high speed leg raises to the top rope, switching to a crazy Rope-A-Dope balance and ab crunch - all with his eyes closed. When finished, he opens his peepers to see Actor FRANK @FrankGrillo1 and JOSÉ Navarro banging mitts right in front of him. Unfazed by the closeness of the fighters or power of the punches -

  • BANJO
  • (smiles to Frank) Enjoyed that article - very inspirational.
  • FRANK
  • (movie star smile) Thanks, man.
  • BANJO
  • Kinda worried you might be getting overexposed.
  • FRANK
  • Ha!
  • BANJO
  • (smiles to Frank) Don’t want people to get sick of you before they even know who you are.
  • FRANK
  • (laughing) You’re a dick.

Punches continue to fly as Banjo closes his eyes for more crunches.

INT. FLOOR AREA - A FEW ROUNDS LATER

Banjo is balancing on an exercise ball hitting the heavy bag when Jiu Jitsu Blackbelt LARS @LarsWallinPT squats next to him for a set of man-makers. During a mutual break, Banjo thanks him for the new ab exercises.

  • BANJO
  • (patting stomach) Totally felt it the next day.
  • LARS
  • (English with Swedish accent) If you study Early Man, you see we were never designed to stand up. 
  • BANJO
  • Right on.
  • LARS
  • (English with Swedish accent) Over time, it was our abs that allowed us to be upright.
  • BANJO
  • Makes sense.
  • LARS
  • (English with Swedish accent) Most important thing to remember - there is no such thing as upper and lower abs - it’s really just one giant balloon muscle with painters tape.
  • BANJO
  • Painters tape?

Lars pulls up his shirt to reveal an eight pack. Then pushes it out to create a balloon-like stomach from which he tears pieces of imaginary tape to illustrate how abs formed and ape became man.

Smiling, Banjo mouths the tune from 2001 Space odyssey.

  • LARS
  • If you ever go into a gym like @Equinox or @GoldsGymSoCal - ask a trainer if he has any good lower ab exercises.
  • BANJO
  • (head bobbling) K.
  • LARS
  • If he starts to show you some (gets animated), leave immediately! There are no lower ab exercises, just -
  • LARS & BANJO (Together)
  • Ab exercises.
  • BANJO
  • So outta there.

Educated and entertained, Banjo heads to the speed bag. It’s set über high. He notices the very tall and frequent TEDx speaker ANDREW @TheMightyKingDrew on the other side of the gym and it makes sense.

Classic Rock continues to crank.

SFX: SPEED BAG

Banjo’s rhythm is right and his speed is good. Left left right right left right left right left right left left right right left left right right left left right right...

The phone VIBRATES in his pocket. It’s a text from Casting Director LADY J. It reads: So so sorry - slammed! Can you do me a favor?

Banjo replies to her text: 💯

Relieved, Lady J’s series of messages explain that she has a session this afternoon and needs to pull props for it. And maybe if he had a few thoughts on what to do in the room...

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In Hollywood - always take your best stab at it

Banjo replies to her text: 👍

He cuts the workout short, gathers his things and heads back to the locker room.

EXT. GYM FRONT PORCH - MOMENTS LATER

Fellow gym mates MAGGIE @MaggieTheMay is on her phone and comic illustrator DAN @UrbanBarbarian is catching his breath, while Banjo eats his banana standing in front of the Macka memorial chair glancing @BleacherReport. JUSTIN Fortune walks out. He leaves in the morning to train @MannyPacquiao in the Philippines for the next month. They reminisce about Manny as an eight division world champion.

  • JUSTIN
  • (Austrailian accent) Unf*cking believable athlete - in as good of shape at 40 as he was at 20.

Speaking of old - Banjo shares his recent work with @Rock_Steady_Boxing. Says is pal and musician @EvanBrau.com is technically more a martial artist than a boxer, but it‘s amazing how the workouts attack the effects of Parkinson’s in Seniors.

  • JUSTIN
  • (smiles / Austrailian accent) Win’s a win.

Banjo leaves the porch area.

  • BANJO
  • (over shoulder) Safe travels baby - kill it!
  • JUSTIN
  • (Austrailian accent) Thanks Mate.

EXT. PARKING AREA - RIGHT AFTER

Banjo exits the alley from the other end. He dashes across the street into the always messy parking area of 7-Eleven.

He puts his Earbuds back in and loads up his guilty pleasures on @Spotify.

Across the street, he glances at the auction house @Bonhams1793 and wonders what’s on sale today? A Mary to Abe Lincoln honey-do list, or maybe a mantle from a turn of the century French chateaux?

A-list celebrity @Platinum_CarRental’s day is already full steam ahead - they’re changing the wrap color on a gull-wing Lambo and waxing a Maybach.

Picking up steam, he notices a few people dining outside @ThePikeyLA. Mmm... fish and chips sounds kinda good, too.

He gets a little nostalgic looking at the old store front of @SamuelFrenchBookShop. For so long, it was the place in LA people went when they wanted to get into the business.

There’s an impromptu photo shoot goin’ down @Chipotle. A very pretty girl with a bright pink hat and super exaggerated bright pink lips is prancing around to the titillation and aggravation of an older gentlemen trying to park his late model Buick.

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In Hollywood - notice the little things

Such a Hollywood moment Banjo thinks to himself as he quickly covers off another block and pulls up to the @LAModels building.

INT. L.A. MODELS / EXCLUSIVE STUDIOS BUILDING - MINUTES LATER

Banjo bounces up the stairs into the main lobby area for the casting offices of @ExclusiveStudios.

He says a quick hello to KATE from @DanielleCasting and her pup, while taking in an inspirational quote from street artist @Wrdsmth that’s plastered on the building across the way.

He makes his way through the saloon doors to the back area and peeks in to say hello to NATALIE @Natster444, but she’s not around. As Facilities Manager PETE @Munsi comes walking up the hall -

  • BANJO
  • WTF?
  • PETE
  • IDK.
  • BANJO
  • YOLO.
  • PETE
  • PLZ.
  • BANJO
  • LMAO.

Banjo makes his way down the hall. He passes the office of Acting Coach JOSEPH @JosephPearlman and startles him with a SFX: KNOCK KNOCK.

EXT. LESSALL CASTING OFFICE - AFTER THAT

Casting Director MATT @LessallCasting.com is on the phone. He gives Banjo the one-minute sign. 

  • MATT
  • (into phone) I already told her - you’re a first time filmmaker with no buzz or budget. It’s not even a juicy role. She’s not getting a star the magnitude of @TiffanyHaddish.

Banjo rummages through the nearby prop closet and takes out a variety of pieces that might work for the audition situations Lady J described. He groups them out in the hallway as a way of visualizing the scenes. At this stage, you want just enough to get point across and not be distracting.

While working it out on the floor, the office door in front of him opens. A new Casting Director setting up shop for Pilot Season, no doubt.

  • BANJO
  • Hello.

No response.

Banjo finds it odd, but carries on with the task at hand. He gathers up the props and puts them on Lady J's desk with some setup and blocking notes - walking silently by the woman’s office at least three more times.

The woman eventually turns her head and says -

  • WOMAN
  • Hey - sorry, I’m just really busy and I...

He understands - everyone deals with stress differently.

  • BANJO
  • No prob.

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He looks back into Matt's office - he's still on the phone.

  • MATT
  • ...She doesn’t really want her anyway - Tiffany’s way too busy being fabulous. A new Director should want Actors who can give them their attention.

Banjo flashes Matt the peace sign and heads out.

EXT. EXCLUSIVE STUDIOS - A VERY SHORT TIME LATER

The sun is getting hotter as Banjo starts out again.

His phone vibrates as a text comes in from the no holds barred hockey thread. It’s another picture of Line Producer MIKEY @Puck_Player in a compromised / photoshopped position.

Exercise boot camp Owner CHRIS @SweatGarage thinks it’s funny. Digital Media Exec KYLAN @Kylander calls it Low E - meaning he is not impresssd.

Banjo knows that little snipe is going to launch a rat-a-tat-tat of text chop busting and a photoshop frenzy. Should be fun.