GOOD IN THE 'WOOD
VIRTUAL strolls thru REAL Hollywood

EXT. SUNSET BLVD.-MOMENTS LATER

He picks up speed past rows of parallel parked cars, a new outdoor tea cafe and pole dancing studio @BeSpun.

He’s close to the salon @TheCutBy, so he thinks to stop by and see the multihyphenate WADE @UniversalHandprint to get that hair paste he’s out of.

The phone RINGS. It’s CLIF, Director of the stoner comedy @DoobiousSources.

  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • Finally saw that Peter Jackson WWI movie.

As suspected, a hockey text war is breaking out.

”Survivor” Producer CLARK @ClarkSandwich serves up an aggressive skinny jeans rip.

Banjo passes Toi Thai restaurant...

  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Crazy, right?

Almost immediately, horse racing Photographer and skinny jean sporting ALEX @A_Evers texts back doubly hard. Cuz sometimes you don’t have to be called out to be called out.

EXT. SIDE STREET - CONTINUOUS

He turns the corner strutting by a bunch of small offices and craft shops.

  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • Unbelievable the amount of work behind collecting all that material before editing.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Can’t score if ya don’t shoot. 

He comes up on kindergarten - sixth grade @GardnerStreetSchool and is reminded of their on again off again relationship with their Michael Jackson Auditorium.

The tourists in the @Tmz.Tour van off to the side are hearing a similar tale.

  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • True that.

EXT. CUT THROUGH STREET’S LONG STRAIGHTAWAY - CONTINUOUS

He turns the corner and blasts past a row of houses trying to grow enough foliage to block out the school. A guy zens out in his car.

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It’s only Hollywood - you got this

Banjo has a hankerin’ for rice bowl @BBQRiceLA but he’s already passed it.

Financial Analyst JOHNNY @Jalexm chimes in by texting his Chris joke approval. 👏👏👏. Dumb move - he just became a target.

  • CLIF (V.O.) ...continued
  • Even though it’s on a totally different scale, it really is like what I’m doing.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Fastball down the middle.
  • CLIF (V.O.)
  • Very inspiring - thanks for pointing that out.
  • BANJO
  • (into Earbuds) Stay gold Ponyboy.

They hang up.

Through the stop sign, he continues past apartment buildings and balconies. Glancing down, Banjo notices he’s about to step in dog crap smeared on the sidewalk. Somehow, he pivots and does a mid air change of foot landing - successful but not very graceful.

EXT. CROSSWALK - SHORTLY AFTER THAT

Waiting for the light to change, Banjo laughs as he reads Talent Manager BRIAN @BrianMedavoy’s reply from their recent email exchange.

He dashes across, then cuts through a small side street to get to -

EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD - MINUTES LATER

Banjo flips through his tunes and fires up the Rapper @JPegMafia while standing in front of the eatery @BWWings.

He continues down past the Boulevard stars of Brock Peters, Liza Minnelli, Lou Gossett Jr., David Spade...

Wait - is that... old pal and Actor TOM @TomFugedi?!?

Like a skilled pairs figure skating team - they pass each other, lock eyes and spin with the exact same what-are-you-doing-here look.

  • TOM
  • Audition - late - gotta take a...

He b-lines it into the posh lobby @TheHollywoodRoosevelt and like that, he’s gone.

There’s a break in traffic. Banjo dashes toward the meat of the Walk of Fame. He looks back over his shoulder -

  • BANJO
  • (to himself) Melrose Larry Green?

EXT. WALK OF FAME - AT THAT MOMENT

Banjo slaloms his way thru the crowd taking in the various Boulevard characters as he goes.

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    In Hollywood - everyone puts on their tights one leg at a time

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    In Hollywood - you can't be chicken

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    In Hollywood - everyone looks like somebody

EXT. HOLLYWOOD & HIGHLAND - MINUTES LATER

Banjo makes his way back to the other sided the street, then strides past the music school @MIHollywood and Supply Seargent.

He sees that they’re fixing the door of the always playful @Escape_Hotel. Laughing, it makes him think of Nail Stylist to the stars JENNA @JennaHipp and Headshot Photographer DAVE @DavidMullerPhotography.

As he punches their names into his Remember to Remind Me file, he has an idea and makes a quick detour to The Y @YMCALA.

Banjo walks in the door and asks the FRONT DESK WORKER about a day pass.

  • FRONT DESK WORKER
  • $10 and I.D. - good for the whole day, all facilities - gym, pool, sauna, shower...
  • BANJO
  • (excited) Giddy-up!

He walks back out and makes his way back to The Boulevard - past the numerous gawkers, stripper supply stores, Hollywood Toys and Costumes, Urban Masala, @HustlerStores, @JoesPizzaLA...

He has a skip in his step and starts mentally putting together a DJ shower and swag bag - lock, towel, maybe a fresh pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. He'll feel sooo much better. And then, who knows?!?

Suddenly, he comes up on a guy sleeping on his prosthetic leg so no one will take it.

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Banjo slows his pace like when the yellow flag comes out in an auto race. It can be very sad to see the harshness of the Boulevard of broken dreams.

He takes a deep breath and repeats his friend of the friendless mantra. He gets back up to speed as he passes the new attraction @VirtualRoomWorld.

EXT. JUICE FOUNTAIN - CONTINUOUS

Looks like an accident out front. As he approaches, there’s sirens, police cars - even a helicopter overhead. Banjo sees Juice Fountain GRANDMA watching the fracas.

  • GRANDMA
  • Hi honey.

She blows him a kiss - he catches it in stride like a football wide receiver.

Across the way is the un-PC sign for strip club @DejaVu_Worldwide. It reads: 1000 pretty girls and three ugly ones. He’s always curious when someone will take offense to that.

EXT. VINE - MOMENTS LATER

He makes the turn. They’re washing the sidewalk outside the always popular @KatsuyaSBE and the refurbished @The_Montalban is changing the marquee.

He passes George Carlin’s star -

  • BANJO
  • (out-loud to himself) Argh!

He forgot the hair stuff at Wade’s.

Oh well - he’s got a breakfast burrito on the brain and taps in his thought.

Standing on the curb checking out the Cinerama Dome of @ArclightCinemas, Banjo spots a bunch of meshugas and decides to cut through the nearby parking garage.

EXT. PARKING GARAGE - SOON AFTER

Stepping out, he encounters construction delays at the new Academy building.

As luck would have it, he sees DJ standing off on his own next to a small but growing tent city.

In Hollywood - success comes in many forms

  • BANJO
  • Yo bud.

Banjo approaches and gleefully tells him the plan.

  • DJ
  • (without missing a beat) Can’t. No I.D.

And just like that, it’s over.

Banjo is deflated, but DJ doesn’t seem all that bothered.

  • DJ
  • It's cool - there's a hose hooked up in an empty lot a few streets from here.

Banjo is disappointed that DJ doesn't want better.

  • BANJO
  • Right on.

He flips DJ his water bottle, tells him to hydrate and wishes him a pleasant rest of day.

  • DJ
  • Thanks bro.
  • BANJO
  • 👍

Banjo’s perplexed and a little sad - but he quickly realizes that maybe it's not up to him to determine someone elses' priorities. 

As he makes his way by the orange vested flag guy in charge of traffic control, he contemplates asking how the high-crane operator goes to the bathroom. But he remembers the get out of here you freak response last time and decides against it.

The canna-billboard above the Peruvian restaurant @LosBalconesLA is not his favorite. Feels combative and not at all in keeping with the jazz-like flavor of @TheParkerRoom.

Speaking of jazz, he decides to check a couple Instas to see if anyone interesting is playin’. He thumbs through the Stories of record store @AmoebaHollywood, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery @HwdForever and famed night club @TheTroubadour. Oh wow, real estate expert @SmithCho.Inc. will definitely want to know about that.

INT. LUNCH SPOT - 10 MINUTES LATER

He slides into the canteen @CactusMexCuisine and up to the counter -

Banjo smiles at the friendly CACTUS EMPLOYEE who hands him a -

  • CACTUS EMPLOYEE
  • (smiles) California burrito.

Banjo’s back out the door before it even has a chance to close. He swings his bag around and drops the burrito in. Then, like a horse recognizing the home stretch, he kicks it into another gear.

It’s quiet at the popular late night venue @SassafrasSaloon, but there’s an early morning $229 ‘oak’ dining room sale going on in front of the retail outlet @GoodwillSoCal. It does not appear to be authorized.

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In Hollywood - you can’t lose faith

He passes @TacoBell and notices a shoot going on at the just remodeled @ThreeClubs.

EXT. INITIAL STREET FROM EARLIER - SHORTLY THEREAFTER

Banjo’s engines begin to power down as he takes in the events of the early morning voyage. He shakes his head -

  • BANJO
  • (out-loud to himself) F*ckin’ Hollywood.

Anything is possible every time out the door.

EXT. THE RED DOOR - A MOMENT LATER

A voice calls out from the curb.

  • KIM
  • Got a light?

He does. And finally stops.

She introduces herself as recent LA transplant Kim Jones.

In Hollywood - it helps to have a plan

INT. GARDEN - AFTER

The RED DOOR shuts.

A NSFW text from Canna-Grower PRIEST @TheRanch_CraftFarming reawakens the hockey lads.

Banjo heads in to take a shower. The day begins.

 

First Episode: “Head on a Swivel”
Back to: Good in the ‘Wood Main