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The Howard Stern Show


Some not so PC bits for a bud’s various tape, on-air & in-studio performances.


COMEDIAN / IMPRESSIONIST ROBERT CAIT has been a longtime voice for THE HOWARD STERN SHOW. Together, we've noodled out many not-so-PC bits for his various tape, on-air and in-studio performances. Some impression / joke highlights include -


As BORIS BADENOV when discussing the whole Russian-Ukraine thing.


Rumor is Robin Quivers is KGB: Kum Gurgling Buttwhore.

What do they call nasty pussy in Russia? Ukraine.

Russian women so big cameltoe look more like Bullwinkle.


Excerpts from SESAME STREET CHARACTERS confronting ELMO after allegations of his inappropriate behavior. 



As KERMIT: Elmo had his fist up my ass more than Jim Henson

As BIG BIRD: Elmo forced bukkake on me. Big. Bird. Bukkake.

As OSCAR: Elmo tried to lick my can


As MICHAEL DOUGLAS after revealing that cunniligus was the reason for his throat cancer.


(A reworked version of Gordon Gekko's famous Greed speech from "Wall Street.") "The point is, ladies and gentleman, that cunnilingus -- for lack of a better term -- is good. Cunnilingus is right. Cunnilingus... works. Cunnilingus clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Cunnilingus, in all of its forms -- Cunnilingus for life, for money, for love  knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And Cunnilingus -- you mark my words -- will not only save Teldar Paper, but also the mouthwatering honey hole of Miss Robin Quivers."



As HERMAN CAIN during his Presidential run.


At the end of 2011, Herman Cain’s Presidential Campaign was crumbling under the weight of his affairs. Seems the only woman Mr. Cain hadn’t slept with is Howard’s lovely sidekick: Robin Ophelia Quivers. Robert submitted a tape professing Herman’s love for Robin and an invitation to share a slice of blumpkin pie during the holiday season. It was played on the air and created good banter. After a second tape also performed well, Ba Ba Booey asked Robert to sit in with Howard and Robin. In the studio, Robert was on. Herman discussed the importance of educating young people so they can better understand how stupid they are. The pizza magnate also told Robin he wanted to be one of her toppings and described 9-9-9 as nine inches long, nine inches round… Robin's middle name / catch-phrase 'Ophelia' became a hot new audio snippet – cut into song parodies and caller responses. Robert’s appearance also became the title for that episode on Howard TV. Mazel tov, Robert – nicely done.



SAL & ROBERT checking in -