“Never Break Stride”
Dance between the raindrops
EXT. GARDEN - MORNING
weaves his way through a series of colorful rose bushes and around a trickling fountain. He adjusts his face mask as he approaches the RED DOOR. Hummingbirds playfully chase each other and a bunny hops across his path. A NEON TITLE CARD reads HOLLYWOOD, CA.
Banjo's glove covered hand opens the door - the game is on.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD - CONTINUOUS
SMACK Banjo's banged into by a guy on a Bird scooter distracted by his own FaceTime conversation.
The Hollywood Neon Title Card shorts out.
Banjo spins off unharmed. The scooter guy THUD hits the pavement. He holds his bloody sleeve up to the screen.
- SCOOTER GUY
- (to camera) I'm okay. (Checks out elbow) Definately don't want to go to the hospital these days - am I right?.
- BANJO
- C'mon man, get your head out of your screen.
They each take off in different directions.
EXT. FORMER AIR BNB PARTY HOUSE - STRIDES LATER
A WASTED DUDE is splayed out on a small patch of grass. A dirty mask is all cockeyed on his face and an almost empty bottle of @Fireball sits on top of a single glove just beyond his reach.
- WASTED DUDE
- (to Banjo) I just f*cked your mother.
- BANJO
- #MeToo bro.
Banjo pulls out his phone and quickly checks the local @HollywoodUnlocked and @NextDoor headlines. Crazy times - doesn't hurt to know if you're walking into anything unsavory. Good pal and musician SANJAY @SanjayParekh is unloading alkaline water from his sweet ‘65 Mustang. They faux high five from six plus feet away. Their namaste mornings are being seriously challenged by the homeless guy who starts calling them racists.
Banjo raises his eyebrows, Sanjay shrugs.
- BANJO
- Stick on the ice, baby!
He dials up Country DJ @ElizabethCookForSheriff on SiriusXM, pairs up his headphones and takes off down the street. He passes a new multi-unit, multi-use property sandwiched between the few remaining old-school apartments screaming for an overhaul.
- ELIZABETH COOK
- (in Earbuds) Hey y’all... whaddaya say we butter up this morning’s biscuit with some fresh Southern jam. Take it away you son of a legend HANK III @SheltonHankWilliamsIII.
As “Crazed Country Rebel” starts playin’, Banjo's Earbuds beep with a call from one of the 2DANs @FartSavesWorld.
Groovin’ along, he answers. Dan is surprised to report that what Banjo told him to do to fix that thing actually worked.
- DAN (V.O.)
- Can’t believe that actually worked.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds). Ain’t always pretty, but it sure is beautiful.
EXT. GOVERNMENT BUILDING - SHORTLY THEREAFTER
Banjo dashes across the street in front of the unfortunately less busy post production studio @PictureHead. He spots two items oddly paired together. He steps past it, while simultaneously snapping a photo. Or two.
In Hollywood - you’ll run into your fair share of dildos
When he picks his head up, he spots an unmasked guy who looks just like Sanjay coming at him from the other direction. It’s music Producer YETI @YetiBeats - fresh off a long night in his Himalayan Studio.
- YETI
- Amsterdam - with @DojaCat... in like an hour.
- BANJO
- (through mask) #Mooo!
- DAN (V.O.)
- ?
From a safe distance, Yeti and Banjo mock a low five while still on the move - neither losing a step.
EXT. MIDDLE OF A USUALLY BUSIER STREET - CONTINUOUS
Banjo ziggies his way between a few of cars that have stacked up at the red light. Dan’s other line beeps.
- DAN (V.O.)
- One sec.
EXT. SIDE STREET - ONGOING
Dan clicks off just as Banjo’s call waiting also beeps. He switches over while gliding past beauty boxers @Beautycon.
- ARTIE(V.O.)
- Can I read you something?
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) I’d like to thank The Academy...
He listens to the opening salvo of a smart idea served up incorrectly. As ARTIE @ArtTender77 continues to get amped, Banjo rolls up on ALI @FakihFadi standing in full coveralls outside his cafe. They exchange exaggerated grins and puffed out, tough guy chests. As Banjo passes, Ali's latex gloved hand passes him a container of the yummiest looking ethnically authentic breakfast pastry.
- ALI
- Mama’s specialty - enjoy!
Without breaking stride, Banjo does a 360 degree pirouette - raising the pastry package in salute to Ali’s mama - then turns his attention back to Artie who's finishing the reading of his letter.
EXT. DANKY HOTEL TURNED SLIGHTLY LESS DANKY APARTMENTS - MOMENTS AFTER
- ARTIE (V.O.)
- (stops talking - breathing heavy)
Banjo jumps on the moment of silence.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Think you’re slidin’ off the log on this one.
- ARTIE (V.O.)
- Huh?
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Feels like a short-sighted way to play the long game.
It’s Hollywood - don’t be a sucker
- ARTIE (V.O.)
- Sometimes I just wanna -
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Don’t! Tickle their nuts a little - describe how much easier their life will be if they tried it this other way.
- ARTIE (V.O.)
- (deep breath) I suppose.
Banjo and Artie hear Dan beeping back on Banjo’s other line.
- ARTIE (V.O.) ...continued
- Thanks for walking me off the ledge.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Giddy-up.
Banjo clicks back to Dan.
EXT. INFAMOUS APARTMENT BLDG. - LESS THAN A MINUTE LATER
Banjo approaches the modest garage area that a city-wide fire bug set ablaze during an arson spree a few years back. He shakes his head thinking how scary that was and how lucky those people were.
- DAN (V.O.)
- That was Jin - @Starbucks App is down - people are freakin’ out because they have to actually interact with each other.
Across the street, he checks out the empty drop off area of the new Charter @StratfordSchool. He certainly doesn't miss the mayhem of all those rude mommies at pickup time.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) It’s all a clown show.
As he makes his way to the curb, Banjo thumbs open his Instagram. Actress DAWN @OhDawnAnderson is playing stress relieving eyebrow and smiling games, Chef MEGAN @ChefMeganMitch is servin’ up somethin’ yummy and the musician MOBY @Moby just posted another picture of himself with hair from back in the day.
EXT. CROSSWALK - CONTINUOUS
- DAN (V.O.)
- People are looney.
Banjo nods a subtle approval as cars on both sides stop to let him cross. He hangs back for an extra spilt second and is glad he did - some asswipe texting while driving flies right in front of him.
- BANJO
- (at car) Really brah?!?
Banjo puts the phone back in his pocket and makes his way into the street.
EXT. PUBLIC POOL - SECONDS LATER
From the other sidewalk, the new public pool comes into view. No doubt it will remain empty for the foreseeable future, Across the way, the empty lot of the old Spiritualist Center looks on without judgement.
Up ahead, Banjo sees DJ. Hard to miss him with no protective gear and that huge Raiders tattoo on his head.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) So you going to New York?
Banjo waves to DJ. Dan reacts emphatically.
- DAN (V.O.)
- Noooo. No no no - was supposed create a home set for a new James Brown show.
DJ - Danny James Moore - has lived on the streets of Hollywood for over 20 years. While most people come to LA to chase their dream, DJ came to escape his nightmare. On walkabouts, he and Banjo cross paths a lot and have shared more than a few stories about life on the streets.
In Hollywood - keeping clean can be a challenge
- DJ
- (to Banjo) Hey brotha.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds and to DJ) Give the drummer some!
DJ smiles as he SCRATCHES himself. Banjo pretends not to notice.
- DAN (V.O.)
- Not that James Brown - football announcer guy.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) NFL - very nice.
- DAN (V.O.)
- He remembered me from the NBA days.
Still moving, Banjo places the breakfast pastry container from Ali’s mama roughly six feet from DJ, who checks it out then looks up with a lustful grin. They point to each other as Banjo picks up speed -
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds and to DJ) Big Baller!
EXT. TREE COVERED STREET - CONTINUOUS
As Banjo is contemplating how quickly things change on the street, he notices a hose hooked up at the far edge of a freshly cleared lot. He thinks maybe DJ could use it to spray himself down and clean up a little. He exhales a large breath - he should be able to come up with something better than that. If only...
- DAN (V.O.)
- And - its not James Brown anymore, it’s Boomer Esiason.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) #OKBoomer
- DAN (V.O.)
- Funny guy.
Banjo comes across another tasty little nugget. This one is NSFW but he likes how it nicely showcases the many dualities of the ever-evolving Hollywood landscape.
In Hollywood - the hunt is on
EXT. ROW OF PRODUCTION HOUSES - CONTINUOUS
Banjo notices a text on his phone from his equipment entrepreneur pal JAKE @DowntownHockey.
The text reads: Help!
- BANJO
- (Looking up / into Earbuds) Ever wonder how those guys way up in those construction cranes go to the bathroom?
- DAN (V.O.)
- Nope.
They laugh as Banjo strides by the massive new construction next to the LGBTQ experimental theater @CelebrationThtr.
Banjo texts Jake back: Your last Instagram Post felt angry.
EXT. EMPTY COLLISION REPAIR SHOP - CONTINUOUS
He passes the shy homeless pirate guy and notices he's added a face bandanna to his swashbuckled look.
A text comes back immediately from Jake. It reads: Frustrated.
- DAN (V.O.)
- So whatever happened with FBomb?
EXT. CROSS WALK - ONGOING
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Corona KO'd!
- DAN (V.O.)
- Shame. Fun idea. Hold on -
Banjo suggests Jake employ a more positive and light-hearted direction.
He texts back: Fluffy dogs & puppy clouds.
EXT. OTHER SIDE OF STREET - SOON AFTER
Banjo stands for a moment outside the country's first cannabis restaurant @LowellCafe. Until the virus, there was a line outside all day every day. Howard Stern @SternShow even broadcasted live from there when the show came to town. He laughs that it sits across the street from a synagogue. So Hollywood.
A car HONKS just as Jake’s WTF text comes through.
EXT. TRAFFIC ROUNDABOUT - CONTINUOUS
Even with full protection, Banjo ducks into himself as a street cleaner comes barreling by. When the haze clears, he notices a construction blockage up ahead. Seems the rickety front stairs of an old apartment building finally collapsed. A RESIDENT stares at the rubble.
- BANJO
- (thru mask to Resident) Damn.
Banjo immediately bounces in a different direction. He thinks again of DJ. How can he clean up his act if he can’t even clean up?
EXT. OLD COMMUNITY GARDEN - NOT MUCH LATER
Banjo shakes his head as he passes the community garden @LAGardenCouncil that recently turned into upscale live-work lofts. An old GTO driven by RODNEY Bingenheimer chugs by.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds looking at driver) Mayor of the Sunset Strip.
- DAN (V.O.)
- Who’s that?
Banjo comes up on an older dude - his mask detached from one ear. He looks like he just took a big hit of pot.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Rodney on the ROQ.
- DUDE
- Rodney!
The outburst causes the dude to accidentally exhale - sending out a large plume of smoke. Rodney doesn't respond.
- BANJO
- (into Earbuds) Bingenheimer - old school LA fixture.
Dan still doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ about.
EXT. SIDE STREET - AFTER
Banjo turns the corner and comes upon two street hustlers getting ready for their morning shift.
In Hollywood - how you prepare is how you perform
- HUSTLER 1
- (to Banjo) How you doin’ honey?
Banjo nods and gives a polite wave.
- HUSTLER 2
- (to Banjo) A date might help you to slow down a little.
- BANJO
- (thru mask - to Hustlers and accidentally in Earbuds) No thank you -
EXT. EMPTY STREET - MOMENTS AFTER
There’s no traffic, so Banjo quickly darts across while continuing to respond to the Hustlers.
- BANJO ...continued
- (to Hustlers and accidentally in Earbuds) Later.
Banjo's phone lodges loose from his pocket but his quick hands keep it from hitting the ground. The journey continues unencumbered.
- DAN (V.O.)
- Later.
A confused Dan hangs up.
Unfazed, Banjo’s pace is fast as he strides past gated driveways, roots growing through sidewalks, a blinking traffic sign...
EXT. DRIVEWAY - SPLIT SECOND LATER
As if a jungle cat spotting prey, Banjo changes course and maneuvers effortlessly up a short driveway to a garage filled with junk. There’s a toilet piled high with cleansers and surrounded by construction items. Still in motion, he snaps a picture and is back on his merry way.
Banjo also Instagrams under the alias KID PORCELAIN - toilet whisperer @ToiletsInTheWild.
Guinness World Records thinks his huge collection of abandoned toilet pics, vids and musings is too weird, but the United Nations cherish his contributions to World Toilet Day - true story.
It’s Hollywood - dream baby dream
EXT. FARMER’S MARKET - A SHORT TIME AFTER
The pace is fast - the strides are long and the breathing is easy even under the mask. He approaches what would be a bustling West Hollywood Farmer’s Market and thinks to himself how good a falafel sounds.
EXT. INTERSECTION - CONTINUOUS
Banjo crosses the opposite way from LA’s original scooterist HOLLAND @HollandMacFallister. They pass each other without interacting - then a masked Holland turns around and yells:
- HOLLAND
- (waves arm) Hey! Good to see you!
Banjo smiles and throws Holland a hey-how-do-you-do arm motion back.
A @HomelessInLosAngeles guy sneezes as Banjo passes.
- BANJO
- Gazuntite.
The guy acknowledges the sentiment, then begins to reminisce to Banjo about the LA sport’s scene.
In Hollywood - people respond to a passionate pitch
Banjo wonders where this guy showers.
Up ahead, the freshly painted wall of the flagship @GuitarCenter comes into view. Banjo ducks into the first of three alleys.
EXT. FIRST ALLEY - RIGHT THEN
He motors through the back of the Mexican restaurant @ElCompadreRestaurant taking in the smell of brown weed coming through one of the nearby apartment windows. He punches up Elizabeth Cook on Sirius/XM again - she chimes in almost immediately.
- ELIZABETH COOK
- Other day, I was in @Walgreens tryin’ to get me some of them old people sunglasses - you know the ones -
Banjo crosses the street.
EXT. SECOND ALLEY - STEPS LATER
- ELIZABETH COOK ...continued
- You put 'em over your own glasses to block out your hangover - I mean sunlight.
He comes out the other side into the driveway of @LosAngelesFireDepartment and nods an approval to the masked up gloved up firemen pulling sleds of weights.
- BANJO
- Nice.
One of the fireman holds up his hand to say thanks while bending at the waist to catch his breath.
- ELIZABETH COOK ...continued
- I mean those glasses were like $30 and I was like when did Cocoons®️ get all boujee?!? I wonder if Singer / Songwriter @NikkiLane77 was thinkin’ bout that when she wrote “Send the Sun.” Take it away Nik -
The song begins to play.
*** MORE SOON ***